and never imagined how hard it would be to leave Emma. The first day was awful. In the morning she was asleep, but then at lunchtime I went to feed her and when I left she was awake. It was a thousand times harder to leave then. It isn't fair - you shouldn't have to leave your kids. I know it is good for her to be with other children and I would never want to be one of those mothers that smother their children, but knowing all that doesn't make it hurt any less. My brain is as equally capable of knowing what's right for my daughter and my heart is capable of hurting when I have to leave her with a stranger...that brings a lot of tears. I know I could never be a stay at home mom - I am not wired that way, but I still hate to leave her. Everyone keeps telling me that it is going to get easier and I know it will. I wish it was a month down the road already, though so I could be at the "easier part"!! :)
Okay...so that's the bad part - leaving her. The good part is I have a great baby sitter. She is very close to my office so I have been able to go see/nurse Emma during lunch, but I am only doing that this week. She has been keeping kids for 15 years in her home and becomes just like another grandmother to all of them - Grammy to be exact. I am sure it will be the same with Emma. Emma is her youngest right now, but there is one other little girl about a month older than Emma so I am sure they'll be put together a lot and hopefully become friends as they grow up.
Work is so extremely busy right now that during the day I don't have time to think about the fact that she is at the babysitter - which is good. There are tons of changes going on at work right now and lots to be done. After the acquisition last year we have a lot of new people in our group and so on top of the work to be done there are people to be trained and groups to organize.
I have three short weeks in a row, too. This week is my Friday off; next week we have Monday off for Presidents Day; and then the following week is my Friday off again. So, I have three four day weeks and this weekend will be a four day weekend, too! Very cool way to have to come back to work!