Every day is a new day!

Tuesday, June 22, 2004
OKay...day one (yesterday) was very good! Day one (today) has been very good. I have decided that I am going to treat every day as if it's day one all over again! That seems to be the best day b/c you're dedicated and gung ho about whatever it is that you're starting!

Yesterday actually was way low - I didn't eat b'fast, lunch was half eaten, and dinner was green beans and some grapes...it's was a busy day yesterday! Today I had a good b'fast - bacon, eggs, tomatoes, cheese - all scrambled together. For lunch they were serving pan seared lean sirloin with jasmine rise, lettuce, tomato, and cucumbers...I asked for no rice and a couple extra cucumbers! Yum! (I'm still working on it as I write)...

I worked lower body in the gym today and then did fifteen minutes of cardio - I was way into a book and didn't really want to quit, but I still had to shower and get dressed and grab lunch. While I was down there a coworker spotted me and smiled and told me how proud she was that I was down there so much. She is a machine - and runs all the time. She invited me to run with them sometime after I told her I used to run.

I had mixed feelings about her support, though. Don't get me wrong, it was very much appreciated - just as all your support is - but there was something else. Back when I worked out regularly it wasn't a big deal for people to see me in the gym, b/c I was there all the time obviously, but now it was like, "Ah...I am so proud she is doing something about her body..." ~ now I know that isn't at all what she meant, and I don't feel that way anymore, but for an instant that's what raced through my mind. I have to be honest - I jumped to defend myself at first. I told her about playing basketball for eight years; varsity the last three years in high school; that I used to run two miles every night; that I was in the gym five mornings and at least two evenings during the week...she seemed so amazed. I would be, too I guess, b/c I don't look like that athletic girl anymore. It's really very depressing now that I can get winded going up three flights of stairs to Michael's apartment when I used to run every night and feel great when I was done.

Our diets seem to be focused on how we look or what size we're in a lot of times - but after talking to her today it made me think maybe it should be more about actually being in shape and in good health. I mean, 5'10" models all look wonderful, but how many of them could make it through one of Bonnie's abs classes or her step classes! OKay, maybe some of them are workout studs, but many of them are just waifs! I don't want to be a waif (not that I am afraid of becoming one), I just want to have stamina and strength as I lose weight, too!