Commitment Issues

Monday, February 09, 2004
I don't have a fear of committment, I just can't seem to make one.

I have been on one "diet" or another since I was around 12 years joke! I'm not going to tell my whole story again, but if you read it and you have read this blog you'll know that I don't stick to things very long - not diet wise anyway. I worked out religiously for years and now I can't force myself to get back into it and I don't know why. I always feel better after working out and have more energy. I used to love why is it so hard to get back into that routine??? I haevn't a clue. If I knew I would already be back in it! I even got the Winsor Pilates DVDs and worked out with them for a while - but I haven't even looked at in a over three weeks.

I did well on Atkins - for a short time. I'm back to eating carbs. I did well on Weight Watchers - now I don't count any points. I did really well just counting calories in general - haven't done that in over a week now. Sheesh, I don't know what my deal is. I sure wish I did. I wish I had something to motivate me and keep me motivated, cuz I dam sure ain't doing it myself! I don't want to have that "give up on it" attitude. I really don't believe that I am that type of person. I don't think I am lazy. I don't think a lazy person could have got up every morning at 5:30 to make it to the gym before work...could they? Maybe I have become lazy over the last year. I called Michael today and told him that at least three days of the week he and I are going to do something in the afternoon. Whether it's play basketball, go to the gym, walk, tennis (if I can drag him out)...we're just going to do some sort of exercise!!!! He said okay - whether we actually get out there we'll see!