Good Intentions...

Thursday, November 13, 2003
Isn't there some quote about good intentions??? Yeah, that's me. I always have good intentions and a great plan, but no follow through. I have always been that way. I start things that I don't finish. I don't have that determination needed I guess. I get discouraged too easily and lose sight of the goal that I had going into it...whatever "it" may be.

I have dieted since I was about 12 years old. I have gone up and down - gained 30, lost 30!! I can't be consistent!! I know it's up to me and that no one can do this, but myself - that's the problem. I'm not doing it. I think I have no will-power. All week I have done very well up until the evening and that's when I cave. One night I have a slice of pizza - another night I had ice cream for dessert - last night I had French fries - FOR MY DINNER!!! (oh...and some brussel sprouts) They were homemade fries, but I still ate them. And today my stomach is killing me. I went to bed w/ a tummy ache b/c of all the fried food. Why don't I learn. I know that afterwards I am going to want to kick myself for doing it, but it's like at that moment I don't care!!!! And I know that I do care. It's not even that I'm that hungry. I had an apple and a pear around 5:30 yesterday - when it came time for dinner I wasn't even hungry, but there were fries and I started eating them and they became my dinner. Ugh! Am I hopeless??