I tried to write a book once.

Thursday, October 02, 2003
I was in the 6th grade. I found it one time - about 2 or 3 years ago. I don't really remember what it was about. Something to do with what a 12 year old find dramatic, I'm sure! Boys and girls and their first adventures at romance or something!

I have always wanted to be able to write. I don't know if I wanted to be a write per se - I just would love to be able to leave words behind that people would enjoy to read. Or at leave be able to express myself eloquently for my own enjoyment. Is it considered eloquence if the words are written and not spoken? If not, what is the correct word used to describe well written words!?!?

On February 14th, 1996 I started keeping a written journal. I started it b/c a boy broke my heart. Someone that had been in and out of my life throughout those "very dramatic" teenage years! Looking back it doesn't seem so serious anymore, but then it was my whole world. It is for all teenagers. It is hard for a teen to see that they are only experiencing a very small fraction of what their life is going to be. During that same time (when I started my journal) I was in my 2nd semester at Baylor. I hadn't been too happy there my first semester - it was rough leaving home for the first time. The 2nd semester was better, but I still didn't find myself much happier (probably part of the reason that I transferred). I was sad - so it goes without saying that my entries were depressing and that pretty much became the theme of my journals. I only wrote when I was down. Over the years I have filled up several notebooks. After I had accumulated a few of them I realized they were just laying out for anyone to read, which was the last thing that I wanted. There were some days when I would lay down to write (I write laying in bed) and I could easily fill up ten pages front and back with my thoughts. I didn't want anyone thinking I had issues or anything, you know!?!? So, what did I do with them? I put them all together with duct tape!!! That way I would know if anyone tried to read them! They are bagged and taped very well!!!! Crazy, huh!?!?

My Grannie is a writer…and a good one. She has written mostly poetries - all of my cards that I receive from her have original work in them. She has also written the history of the church she grew up in (as did my whole family) - last year was the 100th anniversary of the church. I gave her a journal one Christmas and asked that she fill it up with her writing for me. Anything she wanted.

I have thought about taking a writing class, but honestly I don't believe something like that can be taught. I think you either have the talent or you don't. I once had an art teacher (that was my minor in college) that would disagree, though. He said once that before we had taken a math class we didn’t know how to add…same thing with drawing or anything else! Yes, I did learn different techniques and I did improve, but my work still didn’t' stand out the way I would have liked it to. It was good. Something you would look at and say, "Yep, that's so-and-so (if I were doing a portrait)" and then walk on to the next image!!!

Sometimes I wonder if I really wanted to be able to write well or if I just wanted a talent to stand out. I am a good photographer, I am a pretty good artist, and I am a decent writer! LOL!! Pretty generic! (Now I am beginning to sound like I am whining…I’m not!)