Tuesday, September 30, 2003

So, here's how I begin...

Well, I have put off even starting this blog b/c I wanted to have my template put into place first and I had a few tools that I wanted to find to put on here, but then I realize that was just more excuses! I have battled with weight since I was about twelve years old...I have an hourglass shape...big boobs and a big ass and a flat tummy. (Well, over the last couple of years, though I have strong stomach muscles, there is a layer of softness on top of that!!!)

What diets have I done??? Let's see...all through Junior High and High School I was an athlete and tried to watch what I ate, but there was a time when I got stuck taking mini thins (which I couldn't find a link for) to not be hungry. What happened...my weight went down twenty pounds and I ended up passing out! All in all, I still wasn't that big back then. Looking back, I wish I had enjoyed what God gave me as a teenager. Thing was everyone else was a size 2 while I was a size ten...but I had boobs and curves! Why didn't I enjoy that!?!?! B/c it wasn't the norm?

So moving on to college...I still play with different OTC medications (Ephedra) that are coming in and out of fashion. My freshman year I got to my biggest size ever...14-16 and weighed around 175. That summer I came home and went to a diet doctor. I was taking different medications and my mother was giving me shots of B-12 every week. I was working out 5 hours a day and I dropped 30 lbs and man I looked tight! Of course, school started back and I slacked and I got soft again. Didn't really gain all the weight back, though.

Then my sophomore year of college I started vomiting. Yep, I threw up everything I ate...and in three months I went from a size 12-14 to an 8!!! WooHoo! Don't think I didn't go out and buy some itty-bitty skirts and step it out on the dance floor! (Huh...I only have one picture from that time in my life. I should find it and post it!) So, what happened there??? My family had a little "intervention" of sorts and took me to a doctor...a couple of them. Both physical and mental. Mental? C'mon - I wasn't crazy! So, I promised not to do it anymore and eventually I really did stop and guess what! Yep, all the weight came back!

So, I started running and just watching what I ate and for a while things were alright. I maintained a pretty health weight. I am about 5'5" and have an athletic build...but I have a big chest and butt, too! So, it is dispersed alright. I don't look like I weigh in at 185 - that's where I am now. How did I get up to that??? Well, about two years ago I started getting down...emotionally. I went to see a couple doctors and my Gyno put me on some antidepressants. Ladies…if any of you (or men) have been on antidepressants before many of them have a very, very bad side effect - they make you gain weight!!! And weight gain doesn't make you any happier! So, after some time I got off these things and now had new found weight all over my body!!!

So, now we are to the present. I don't work out like I used to at all. (I used to work out five mornings a week and a couple of afternoons and even though I wasn't gaining any weight during that time I wasn't losing it either. I was fit and healthy, but still bigger than I wanted to be.) Now, I only make it into the gym about three mornings a week on average and then I only work out about half an hour at a time. I either do that time in cardio or weights, but never both. Weights are a lot easier for me. I can build muscle and see that change more quickly than weeks of cardio - but muscle weighs more than fat remember…so the scales continue to climb!

The latest diets I have done are Weight Watchers and Atkins. WW didn't do anything for me at all! On Atkins I was very good for the first month or so and during the first two weeks of induction I lost 11 pounds. I was so excited!!!! After that I started a maintenance period where I limited my carbs and I kept the weight off for a while…but slowly and surely is has recently started creeping back up on me. I think I have gained back about 7 of those pounds. I keep trying to start Atkins again, but the first few days, which are the hardest, keep getting me. I start to feel light headed b/c my glucose/sugar level drops during those days (which is what you want b/c you want to go into ketosis). Then it isn't long until I find myself eating something with sugar or other carbs b/c I can't stand that faint feeling.

So, what I am going to do now? Do I think writing a blog is going to miraculously take off the weight?? No, of course not, but I think it will help me do a better job of being more self-disciplined. I think it will be good for me to track everything I eat during a day and the number of calories and carbs that I consume. I think if I limit my calories to around 1,500 and keep my carbs under 20-30 grams a day that I might actually see a difference. I have tried keeping other journals - keeping a notepad with me to track what I ate and using my PDA, even sponsored online journals, but I didn't keep up with any of them. I do a pretty good job of keeping up with my personal blog so I am hoping that is the case with this one, too!

My weight loss has never been about anyone else. I don't want to do this to make anyone else happy. I have a wonderful boyfriend that loves me and tells me that I am not fat, but I feel fat. This is for me. No one else and I believe that is the way that it should be. You shouldn't try to change anything about you for someone else. Oh yeah, the ideal thing would be if I were just "Happy with myself" - how many times have you heard that!?!? I am happy with everything about my life (just about), but I want to lose weight. I want to be able to put on shorts or a bathing suit w/out being so self-conscious about what I look like! I want to buy white pants (I have a pair, but I don’t wear them) instead of just black or jeans!!! I want to wear skirts above my knees w/out worrying about people seeing my thighs!!! I want to be happy with my body - end of story! I am currently not happy with my body!

Well, that's me on my soap box…I hope after reading all that you'll visit and give feedback. Your stories, your support, your criticism, whatever!!! Or just come and read!

Sunday, September 28, 2003

And the weekend was great...

It was good to see old friends and Pat was awesome!

Saturday, September 27, 2003

Unconscious Mutterings

  1. Herpes::Warts
  2. Freddy:: Kruger
  3. October:: Halloween
  4. Hunting:: Deer
  5. MSN:: Microsoft
  6. 36:: Yard
  7. Hotel:: Inn
  8. Travesty:: Death
  9. Health:: Heart
  10. Conditions::Terms


Friday, September 26, 2003

Playing Opossum

Kathy's post reminded me of something I used to do when I was a little girl...when I was still small enough that my daddy could carry me! When we would go somewhere and arrive home late I would pretend that I fell asleep in the back seat. When we got home daddy wouldn't "wake" me, so I would get carried inside the house. Most of the time I would jump up as soon as we walked in the door and daddy would say, "You little turkey (that's what he called me...other than MishMish). You were playing opossum!!" And I would laugh hysterically b/c I had fooled him.

Looking back, though, I believe that daddy knew all along that I was pretending. I don't know why I hadn't thought about it until now.

My daddy was gone a lot when I was a little girl - so I really have more memories of doing things with my mother. I also remember being able to lie on the back dash of our car - we had an LTD Crown Victoria - and I would look up at the starts and see the constellations or the moon (my father's sailed the ocean his whole life so he taught me some of the constellations) and say, "I wonder if daddy is looking at the same stars I am looking at?"

Thanks for the reminder Kathy! That was a good memory to end the day on!!!

I hope you all have a great weekend!

How Many Licks...

Does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll Center of a Tootsie Pop!?!?!


The chocolate ones are my favorite. And I didn't know this, but actual engineering students have done studies to find out. A group at Purdue even went so far as to make a Licking Machine!! (Hmmm...I wonder what they used it for after their study was over!!) I would never know b/c I can't keep from biting it!!!

Random bit of info brought on b/c my coworker decided to stock her candy pile with tootsie pops today and I couldn't resist!

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

Morning Madness

You ever get in that mode where you could clean and clean forever?!?!? Well, I was like that this morning. Before getting into the shower I cleaned up the kitchen. There were a few dishes in the sink so I loaded them in the dish washer and then began cleaning floors, cabinets, etc. Then I decided to put on some laundry before leaving, too and picking up and putting up in my bedroom. Okay, I don’t want it to sound like it's a new idea that I am cleaning, but I usually don't do it so early in the morning. I don't know what was different about today. Usually, I get all that done in the evening. When I was driving out I even thought, "You know, if I didn't have to go to work I'd just pull in there and wash my car." So that might be what I do this afternoon before I watch tonight's premiers on NBC.

Beyond the Cleaning
Well, I am not getting stood up!!! An old friend of mine and I had planned for her to come to Houston this weekend with her boyfriend and we were going to see Pat Green. Well, that was over a month ago…we made plans and bought tickets and then all of sudden I lost contact with her! So last week, after about three weeks of not hearing from her, I started emailing. I thought maybe she wasn't coming and didn't want to tell me or something! I sent about three to work then this week I sent a one to work and home. Finally calling her cell phone b/c I was beginning to get worried (what does that say when the phone is the last resort over email to contact people these days). I got her voice mail, which said he cell phone number had changed…so I called the new number given and got another voice mail - to which I stated that I was wondering what the deal was and if she was alright! So, this morning I have a message at work from her telling me that she changed jobs and didn't have that email anymore and that they had been so busy, but that she would call me later at work to figure out the details of this weekend. Whew!! I was really afraid something was wrong!

You know, it is hard to lose contact with people this day and age…yeah, it is easy to go a long time without seeing them b/c our lives are so busy now days, but through cell phones, web sites, emails, etc…there is no way you shouldn't be able to get in contact with someone!!! I have heard people say, "I am just too busy to answer emails…" Bullshit (I understand in my friend's case b/c her address changed) - but it takes me five seconds to reply to an email that I receive. Michael gives me a hard time when I talk about emailing this person or another person. He says, do you ever work??? Yeah, I work…but if I am sitting at my desk and receive a personal email I can either reply quickly stating that I am busy and will write more later, or when I get to a good stopping point take a break and respond. Either way, I just don't ignore them! (Okay, that was my little vent for this Thursday morning!!)

Chivalry in Strangers...

Well, well, well, that was mighty nice of you!!!

When I got home from work today I decided to take out the trash while I walked Chinook. So I gathered up Chinook and the three bags of trash (I had done some Fall cleaning) and headed out the door. One of the bags was pretty heavy and I had to sit it down twice on the way to re-grip!! Now, here I am still in my work clothes, three bags of trash, and a hyper dog on a leash walking through the complex. One of my neighbors was pulling out of his garage about the same time and then pulled up beside me. I could tell he was slowing down and thought he might be going to tell me either that I dropped something or that there was a closer garbage bin or something...but instead he said, "Would you like me to take that for you?"

I wasn't expecting that. I told him thank you very much, but that I was fine...he offered again saying that he could just throw it on the back of the truck...and I said that I was afraid one was leaking. To this he said it was a work truck and that he was about to wash it anyway and by that point he was already out of his truck and taking the bags from my hand!! So I let him and told him that I really appreciated it. Wow! I thought it was extremely nice of him to do that! It was nice just to offer!!!

So, while my trash headed out I continued to walk Chinook and then, unfortunately, b/c we're predispositioned (is that the right word) not to trust anyone (especially nice looking men who are being nice to you), I turned to watch and make sure he was indeed throwing away my trash and not taking it around the corner to sift through for check stubs or old credit cards or something. Isn't that terrible!?!?!

Thankfully, he just pitched it all in the garbage bin and I felt ashamed for even questioning his chivalry!!! I didn't get his name, but thanks neighbor...for being a good neighbor!!!

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

Go Stros???

Hmph, I don't think we'll make it to any more games this years. Last ngiht's game was terrible. Ten runs in the second inning alone!!!

We ended up leaving about the 6th inning. I had seen enough and so had Michael. His brothers stayed, but I don't know for how long.

They are now a whole game behind the Cubs so it's going to be a REAL battle from here out.

C'mon guys...you can do it! I have faith...I continue to have faith in Biggio, so anything is possible!!!! Right????

Clock Watching...

You know yesterday seemed to go by rather quickly. I wasn't extremely busy or anything, but before I knew it the clock said 3:30 and then 5:00 came within a second! Very cool!

After work yesterday I went home and chilled on the couch with Chinook before heading to Michael's. It wasn't long after I got there that his brother came over to watch the game, which quickly lost our attention! So Michael and his brother ended up going downstairs to play basketball and I ended up watching Fear Factor. I don’t really watch a lot of reality shows, but I sat through this one! It was disgusting! They were competing for $1 Million. I think I could go through most of the things they have to do except eating that crap (sometimes literally) and if they had a stunt that involved spiders. Snakes would probably freak me out, but I know that I could endure that more than anything with spiders! After that we watched the season premiere of the new show Las Vegas. This show was alright. It was interesting to see how they caught the cheaters, but the whole daddy walking in on his daughter screwing his employee bit and then all of them having dinner together and talking about this was a little too much. C'mon!

Tonight we're going to the ballgame. Everytime I go I take my digital, but tonight I think I might see if they'll let me take my 300mm in. I know the last time I tried to take it to a Rockets game they made me leave it in my car. I should call first…I don’t want to leave it in the car downtown. I don't think anything would happen, but I am very leery these days about leaving expensive stuff in my car! So I have to buy film…what a nostalgic idea!!!

WKRP

in Cincinnati!!! Do you remember that show!!??!? It went off the air in 82...I was five. So I remember a few and then probably mostly reruns of the show! Gordon Jump who played the station manager, died yesterday. If you don't remember the show, you'll remember him as the Lonely Maytag Man, who has been replaced with this guy. What I remembered most about that show was the walls made out of tape by the news guy (he had a cubicle, so he marked off walls and a door with tape on the floor and you couldn't walk through his "walls") and that Loni Anderson was always trying to escape advances from Horny Herb!!! Even then I knew what he wanted from her!!

I heard this yesterday on the radio, but didn't get a chance to post about it.

Note To Self...

Don't get the grilled chicken breast from downstairs anymore. Ugh, how in the world can you mess up a grilled chicken breast?? First you season, then you put it on the grille. Where could you possibly mess it up!?!? Needless to say, today's lunch was very unsatisfying!

Sunday, September 21, 2003

Don't forget to hit submit!

Well, I had a big post all written up and previewed it, but didn't hit submit! Real good Hanna!!!

So, the short version!

Friday night we had planned on heading to the country to go dove hunting...and let me try out my new gun! Daddy got me a shotgun for my b'day and this was the first time for me to try it out! Before heading out, though, we found out that the others weren't going to be able to make it until Saturday so we decided to do the same and met up with Michael's brother and his girlfriend to see a movie.

So Saturday we headed out to Michael's grandparents' country place and fished for a while and shot clays before heading out. It wasn't long after we all got set, though that it started raining! I guess the doves will be there next time! I did a lot of target shooting, which was good since this is a new gun for me!

This afternoon I hosted my first Creative Memories party!! Thanks Pamela for coming out to give this party! I had a good time and learned a lot to help me out with my own books!!

Now the weekend is over...at least it will be after the football games are over with! Then it's another 40+ hours of work until we're off again! Actually, this weekend we're staying here, but I have an old friend coming into town for the weekend with her boyfriend and we're going to see a Pat Green and friends in concert! I have never seen him live so I am looking forward to a good show! I am really anxious to see my friend, too. It's been about three years since I have seen her. She was at least living in Houston back then, but it was still hard to keep up with one another b/c we have such busy schedules! It will be great to catch up, though! Hopefully she'll be returning to Houston in the future and we'll be able to keep up with one another's lives a little easier!

Well, I am sorry for the lack of flare in tonight's post! I had a rather nice one all put together and lost it...I am sure that has happened to everyone reading and the last thing you want to do is re-type everything and find all those links again! Oh well...I'm going to watch the end of the game now and then hit the sack!

Unconscious Mutterings

  1. Savings:: Bond
  2. On:: Off
  3. Wire:: Line
  4. Word:: Mouth
  5. Bladder:: Control
  6. Missing:: Action
  7. Side:: Show
  8. Window:: Treatment
  9. Digit:: Number
  10. Swirl::Strawberry


Thursday, September 18, 2003

Friday Five

1. Who is your favorite singer/musician? Why? I can't really pick out one singer or musician that stands out above the rest. My musical taste is so varied...it really depends on my mood as to what I like to hear!

2. What one singer/musician can you not stand? Why? Marilyn Manson - I just do!!!

3. If your favorite singer wasn't in the music business, do you think you would still like him/her as a person? How should I know...I have never met these people!

4. Have you been to any concerts? If yes, who put on the best show? Tracy Lawrence put on a great show, but I am going to see Pat Green in about a week and I am anticipating that being great!!! Although, Aerosmith had me tromping around in the mud!!!! They were awesome live!

5. What are your thoughts on downloading free music online vs. purchasing albums? Do you feel the RIAA is right in its pursuit to stop people from dowloading free music? If I were a rich musician I am sure I would agree with them. But since I am a middle class citizen who can't spend $20 to buy EVERY CD that I want, I say let the people download their music. Those who can afford it will still go out and buy new CDs every day...and the musicians aren't going to end up in the poor house over it!!

That's ALL You Needed???


Yeah, that's okay. It isn't rude in any way to pace outside my door and then stand inside my door with your arms crossed, then come in and dive into my bag of jelly beans making a lot of noise rattling the bag while I am on the phone. I GET THE HINT LOUD AND CLEAR…you need me for something. The fact that I am on the phone really doesn't matter at all. It's not like it could have been important or anything…though our definitions of important could also vary along with our tolerances of rudeness!!!!

So, I get off the phone...it's a ten second conversation that could have waited!!! Grrr...must be nice to be the boss!


Tuesday, September 16, 2003

I hadn't heard of Dogpile before...

Dogpile and Autopsy Report. Yeah, you bet these two referrals got my attention!!! I am not obsessive or anything about checking my referrals, but I do think it is interesting to find out what sites/links out there lead people to mishmish.org. The most interesting are the searches. I think the most disturbing one that I found was "pictures of Milton Berle's penis"…now I am sure to end up getting it again for typing that. I think I had written about Milton Berle dying and about a rather large penis we saw. No, it wasn't real. It was paper mache - someone's creation that we saw downtown one night.


Nice Afternoon Break

My parents called earlier b/c they were in the area and were going to take me to lunch. I had already left so I missed their call, but called them back and told them to stop by anyway. So they came by around 2:30 and we got a cup of coffee downstairs and sat and chatted for twenty minutes or so!! That was a nice break for today!!!

Monday, September 15, 2003

Unconscious Mutterings

  1. Wedding:: Marriage
  2. Roach:: Spray
  3. Expense:: Gas
  4. Fight:: Makeup
  5. Air:: Fare
  6. Protect:: Guard
  7. Glance:: Watch
  8. Boo:: Ghost
  9. Steamy:: Tea
  10. Caviar::Champagne


Friday, September 12, 2003

Ahhh...

We just had ice cream cake for all the September b'days in our group and then I went downstairs for a fifteen minute chair massage. Ahhh...

Early B'day Thoughts



Tomorrow is my b'day! I probably won't get online tomorrow, so:

Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday dear me,
Happy Birthday to me
(early) !!!


Yay!!! You know almost every year I have bought myself a present on my b'day. This year I haven't decided what I want to get me, though. Earlier I wrote how I often get bummed on my b'day and this year was no different. The closer it got to tomorrow the ickier I felt. The weather doesn't help either. I don't have any qualms about getting older. Age is just a number…in fact I'll just tell you now that I am going to be 26 tomorrow. Now ask me again in ten years if I still feel that way!!! LOL!! Tomorrow is also my friend's little girl's b'day. She is going to be a year old. Last year on my b'day I got a comment from her saying, "Sorry I missed your b'day, I was kinda busy. I was in labor!" I actually thought it was pretty cool that she was born on my b'day…and Nina found out she was pregnant on her own b'day! Am I still feeling icky about tomorrow? Nah, not really. I don't know what we're going to do, though. I am supposed to have dinner/late lunch around 2 at my parents' house tomorrow. Michael and I haven't really made any plans. Tonight we thought about going to the comedy club b/c I received free tickets…gobs of free tickets. (Anyone interested in going to the comedy club??) They give away more free tickets than they sell I think! I guess it just brings in the drinkers…people think they saved so much money b/c they didn't have to pay a cover that they can spend more money on booze!!!!! (Heh, usually bars don't have a cover guys!!! Clubs do!)

The weather is nasty so if we don’t go out it won't necessarily be a bad thing. Last night the thunder woke me up. I never wake up due to thunder…rain and thunder have always been good sleeping weather for me. But last night, b/c it was cool outside, the windows were opened and I guess lightening hit pretty close, b/c the thunder clapped and I swear I thought something landed on the roof!!! It scared me to death!! I was truly afraid for a moment, thinking something bad was happening.

I did have a pretty cool dream, though. Over the weekend Michael taught me a new game that his grandfather had and in my dream I was playing a version of this game with high stakes. I only needed a one or a two to win and I pulled a two and guess what I won!! $1.1 Million!!!!!!! It was amazing. I told Dennon my dream this morning and he told me that maybe I should go buy a lottery ticket!!!

We're having cake at 2:30 today. The second Friday of every month we gather to celebrate that month's b'days. Today we're having ice cream cake from TCBY I believe and at 3:00 I am going downstairs for a 15 minute chair massage. Yeah, it's kind of a tease, but I haven't had time to plan a one hour session and I haven't found a good spa near my apartment either. So, in the mean time, this will suffice! My neck have really been hurting so this will target the spot.



OH, I just got a phone call from the receptionist downstairs. I had some flowers delivered! They are beautiful!!!! Thank you Michael!! I love you, too sweetheart!





And NOW my friend up here just walked in with a b'day gift for me! Isn't she beautiful!?! I am going to have to start collecting Faerie Glen along with Dezine

Birthday seems to be taking a turn for the better!!!

Thursday, September 11, 2003

Friday Five

1. Is the name you have now the same name that's on your birth certificate? If not, what's changed? Yes

2. If you could change your name (first, middle and/or last), what would it be? I really like my name...I don't think I would change it.

3. Why were you named what you were? (Is there a story behind it? Who specifically was responsible for naming you?) My grandfather was Hanna. And my father was Magdi Hanna. By Egyptian tradition I should have been names "something" Magdi Hanna....but my parents had only picked out a boy's name (Michael Magdi Hanna) - Surprise! I was a girl and daddy was away at worked, so my mother gave me the first name Hanna instead and my middle name became Mechelle.

4. Are there any names you really hate or love? What are they and why? I like old names. Victoria, Lydia, Isabelle, Annabelle...these are all pretty girl names. For boys I like Lance, Oliver, James...these are just a few.

5. Is the analysis of your name at kabalarians.com accurate? How or how isn't it? For the most part I believe it is. I agree with what I have bolded

"Your name of Hanna makes you easy-going and refined, but detracts from your physical vitality. You desire all the finer things in life--lovely clothes, home, furniture, and environment. However, procrastination is your worst enemy, and you find yourself lacking the ambition to make your dreams a reality. People are inclined to take advantage of your sympathetic, tractable nature. You naturally attract people with problems who seek your understanding and advice. You can give good advice although it is unlikely that you would follow it yourself. You would be most successful in situations where you can use your skills in diplomacy in handling people, but where you are not under pressure or required to carry responsibility and make decisions. It is difficult for you to be individual and make your own decisions, for you lack self-confidence."

What's the analysis of your name??


Wednesday, September 10, 2003

Remembrance

Anniversaries

Today is my three year anniversary at this company…and the two year anniversary of 911.

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

I am Beautiful!

I have been catching up on my blog-reading this week. I haven't been too busy at work, so when I can I get on and read the next blog down in my blogroll - and lately I have been blog-hopping a lot, too. I have been following links here and there and have found a couple rather note-worthy blogs!!!

One blog in particular I found yesterday…and really what drew me to read her blog was the essay she wrote on A Picture's Worth. (There isn't a direct link, but if you look under GALLERY her essay is titled SOMETIMES I CAN BE BEAUTIFUL. "Find the courage to describe yourself as beautiful and then, don't say another word." The words she wrote were moving. Maybe more personal to me, b/c I haven't always had the highest self-esteem (though it's a lot better) and I have never been too good at receiving compliments (and I am getting better at that, too). Michael gives me compliments a lot and I turn it into a joke or I'll say something about my weight and he gets irritated and says, "My God, you're beautiful…learn to take a compliment!" Michael has so much confidence and I really admire him for that. Kira seems to be like me…like maybe she has focused on the negative before and now she is being proactive about turning that around. Her essay is inspiring b/c it is almost like an assignment…and exercise. Like she is challenging you to look at yourself through another's eyes and see the good, the beauty, the inspiring!! Like the goal is to then to see yourself that way through your own eyes.

Yesterday I got a great compliment about my hair…and what made it really great was that it came from one of the girls in the gym that I have always admired. She is around the age of 40 and has the most amazing body! I have dieted and worked out all my life, and while I am curved in all the right places, I still wish for a body like hers! I told her this, too…she told me she worked forever on her hair and it never looked as good as mine…and I told her I have dieted and exercised forever and still didn't look like her! So it was like a trade-off. Then again this morning in the gym, she and another woman with a great body again complimented me about my hair and the other woman told me she thought I was the (begin English accent) "prettiest little thing" that worked here!!! Wow, here are two of the most gorgeous women in our company telling me how they thought I was so pretty! Shouldn't it be the other way around??? No, wait, like the essay said, "stop! Let me try this again" Now, let ME try again! I do have great hair…and a great figure…it's just that my figure is a bit bigger than those women! (try again) I have great curves in all the right places! I have beautiful eyes and great skin - I love my complexion!

I loved the essay Kira…that and the two compliments yesterday and this morning gave me a jab just at the right time to feel good before my b'day!

The Challenge: "To all the women out there, dare not to think of all those things which make you feel unlovely. Even if for just a day, fight the urge to talk about the ugly and unwanted. Talk the way a lover would in the midst of passion. Find the courage to describe yourself as beautiful and then, don't say another word." And why not the men, too????

Monday, September 08, 2003

B'days & Babies

On the day that I was born the first viewer discretion warning appeard on a soap opera…and a lot of other things happened on September 13th.

My b'day is this Saturday. I don't know why, but I always get a little bummed out on my b'day. Birthdays aren't really that big of a deal in my family. I mean we all congregate together and my mother cooks and there are a few gifts given, but as far as a real celebration goes, we haven't really been know to get down for our b'days. I guess I get bummed b/c once I wouldn't mind having someone do something special for me. Last year was my 25th b'day and I got this way b/c no one really thought anything big about it…so I got all my friends together and we closed down Buca di Beppo, which was a BLAST!! But much of it was my planning, too. I have been telling Michael that I want to do something for my b'day, to which he responds, "Okay, we'll do whatever you want to do." That's great, but I don’t want to plan my own b'day!!! I sound like I am being a brat. Reading what I have written so far, I sound like a brat! I'm not…I just want something different this year and I don’t want to plan it myself. (I said that already didn't I?)!

One of my coworkers is here today packing up her office. She has been on maternity leave and has decided that she would rather stay home with her new baby. I don't blame her, although I don't know if I would be able to leave work 100% like that. Believe me, I can't wait to have children - but I just don't see myself as a stay-at-home mother. I admire women who do…and their husbands. It's a lot of work to keep a family surviving on one income. Knowing my coworker, though, it is the right decision for her. She has the baby up here today, too so I have been holding her off and on this afternoon!!! (Baby fever - shh, don’t tell Michael!) My mother worked until I was born and then she and daddy decided that she should just stay home with me. My siblings were all out of the house, so in a way I am glad that she decided to do that, otherwise, I would have been home alone everyday. I know she is glad, but I also know that she was sad to see her nurse's license go. Without continuous work and education the time came that she couldn’t renew her license again and I remember when that happened she was sad.

Well, I still have time before I start having children…so who knows what my thoughts will be on the matter when that time actually arrives!!!

Sunday, September 07, 2003

My First Dove Hunt

I had a good weekend. Friday night Michael and I met up with the group at Barney's to play pool and afterwards we went downtown for dinner and were introduced to the infamous red button! (LOL! You'll have to come to Houston to find out!) Michael and I were the first ones to poop out. We're getting old I guess b/c when it's gets to be about ten o'clock our eyes start wanting to shut. It was about one o'clock when we said good night to everyone and headed back to my side of town!

Saturday we didn't know what we were going to do. Michael's brothers had called several times to see if we wanted to go out to the country to go dove hunting. They finally made up their minds around 3:30 that afternoon! So, we loaded up and headed out to Michael's grandparents' country place to meet up with everyone. I got to go on my first dove hunt! Unfortunately I don't have anything to show for my adventure. I only hit one dove and I hit it just enough to stun it and send it spiraling to the ground...but only for a moment. Then it was back up in the air flying away! I still had a great time. The guys did really well! That night we all sat up until about 3:00 in the morning playing games...I was dying. 1:00 the first night and 3:00 the second...ugh, needless to say ,b>Sunday morning all I wanted to do was sleep...forever! But of course that didn't happen! The guys were all up early and heading out to the catfish pond...so I grabbed my camera and out the door we went to feed the fish! I got some nice shots while we were there!

Around 11:00 we headed back to Houston - and today we have spent most of the day watching football. First the Houston game at noon at Michael's and then headed to my place to watch the rest. I was so tired I ended up napping at Michael's during the first game.

My parents just stopped in earlier...they were driving back from Vegas and decided to stop here for dinner.

So, now I have to get some sleep b/c it is back to work in the morning. G'night!!!!


Here's a quick picture of part of the Kubeczka Clan (Michael's family) before I hit the sack - and the doves that didn't make it today!


My page was loading so slowly that I assumed having this picture posted might have been the cause...so now I'll just leave you with a
link to the picture!!! I hope it loads faster now.

Unconcious Mutterings

  1. Bookends:: Shelf
  2. Compliment:: Eek!
  3. Gutter:: Sewer
  4. Obsession:: Perfume
  5. Heavy:: Anvil
  6. Real:: Fake
  7. Disposable:: Trash
  8. Breeze:: Wind
  9. Work:: Ugh
  10. Sweetheart::Michael


Friday, September 05, 2003

Friday Five

1. What housekeeping chore(s) do you hate doing the most? Laundry...I don't really mind the washing and folding...I HATE to put up laundry!

2. Are there any that you like or don't mind doing? I don't mind cleaning the kitchen or bathrooms.

3. Do you have a routine throughout the week or just clean as it's needed? Clean as is needed...as I go.

4. Do you have any odd cleaning/housekeeping quirks or rules? No...I don't think so.

5. What was the last thing you cleaned? My kitchen - last night after dinner.

Michael is a much better housekeeper than I am. I am clean, just cluttered and he hates that!! So we work together!!

My name is Hanna

hanna is a very rare male name.
Very few men in the US are named hanna.
Be proud of your unique name


hanna is the #1112 most common female name.
0.007% of females in the US are named hanna.
Around 8925 US females are named hanna


hanna is the #1007 most common last name.
0.012% of last names in the US are hanna.
Around 30000 US last names are hanna!


source namestatistics.com

Thursday, September 04, 2003

Celebrity Blogs

Through another site this morning I ended up on a celebrity website and started wondering how many celebrities keep up websites themselves, i.e. how many of them have weblogs. I did a quick search on google and found this list. Some of these I have never heard of before. I browsed through Melanie Griffith's site b/c it was listed on the first search results I received. Some of these seem to be pretty interesting, but others are so self-absorbed. It's like they are running their own fan club or something. I think the only celebrity site I would really be interested in reading is one that was like all of ours…just daily bull-shit and what is going on in their lives. I can see your glossies and filmographies all over the internet…when I come to a weblog that isn't what I am looking for. Yes, I have links to pages about myself, 100 things, links to know about the people I am talking about, but my site is not a tribute to me (although I believe one should be…hee hee)! Anyway, I guess my point is that it would be interesting to read the daily thoughts and goings-on of some celebrities, whether they be movie stars, athletes, authors, TV personalities, or whatever without all the glam and hype like a fan club site would have - including stories about what goes on behind the scenes, or in the dressing rooms, locker rooms, whatever. Which famous person's blog would you be interested to read?

Wednesday, September 03, 2003

Happy Thursday

Morning! I have a plea this morning. I am searching for MP3 players (no, I don't have one yet...sorry) - really, it's for Michael. I was thinking about getting him one. He doesn't read my blog so I don't worry about spoiliing the surprise! My plea is for information. I have been reading reviews and searching the internet for information about portable MP3 players, but can't decide on one. There are too many!!!! So, feedback please...what kind do you have? What do you like about it...what do you hate about it!?!? Also, I don't want to spend $300 or anything like that! Let's keep it within a reasonable budget! Under $200 preferably!

Tuesday, September 02, 2003

Long Weekend Update

So, how was your Labor Day weekend?

Ours was pretty good. We didn't really go and do anything exciting, but it was so nice to have the time off.

Friday we went to see Roger Creager at the horse track. I like his music, but his show wasn't really that great this time. He kept trying to get into conversation with the crowd or something. Telling stories and singing nothing but new songs…no one was into it. When he finally realized they wanted to hear his good stuff and started singing them it was almost time to go.

Saturday I took Michael to eat Egyptian food…actually it's Lebanese, but most of the food is the same. He seemed to really like it and they give you so much food we had a lot to take home. He didn't like everything, but that's expected! Afterwards we went to a local Cajun meat market. I had a gift certificate from Christmas for $100 so I figured it was about time I used it. We got so much food!! Pork chops, stuffed roasts and chickens, ribeyes, filet mignon, and even a rabbit!!! And it all fit in my freezer…which I couldn't believe! We won't have to shop for meat for the next month…just veggies to go with them! We ended up at my house for the afternoon and fell asleep…so after a good nap we decided to go see a movie. We got sidetracked on the way and stopped off at Old Navy just as they were closing!! By the time we left we really didn't feel like sitting in a theater, so we went to Hollywood to see what movie we could rent…we walked out with nothing, but did go next door to get ice cream! We ended up partially watching a movie that we had.

Sunday Michael's parents picked us up and we went out to Chapel Hill. It's about an hour North West of Houston. His grandparents used to live out there and still have a place. There was a bazaar going on at the local Catholic church (Michael's family is Catholic). As we drove up Michael and his dad each reached into the cooler for a beer and when I questioned him about bringing beer onto the church grounds (I was raised Southern Baptist), Michael just chuckled and said, "They are selling beer out there!" I am still not used to that!!! It is so weird to me to see all these old ladies walking around with a beer in their hands at the church…outside, but still at the church!! I keep imagining my Grannie out there with them chugging a cold one! It's too hysterical! The weather was a bit a icky, though, and those overcast days really don't help my migraines…by the time we left my eyes were tearing I was hurting so badly. After I made it home and took some medicine, though, and slept a while I started feeling better.

Monday the rain was still coming down. It was a good day to stay indoors. Michael and I had lunch and then made another attempt to rent a movie. This time we did leave with a couple…Chicago and Tomb Raider, neither of which we watched through! Oh well…Michael wasn't into either one and they slowly started losing my attention as well. I had already seen Tomb Raider, but I wanted him to see the first one before we go see the next one!

And now we have a short week! It's already Hump Day!! Yesterday I cooked the filet mignons that we bought and we finished ALL of the laundry!!!!! Tonight we're having dinner at Michael's parents' house, but before that we're meeting his brother for a little while to fish. Okay…I have to get some work done around here now! Yesterday I didn't get to update b/c it is end of month time around here, but I'm ahead, b/c everything is due today and I got it all in yesterday! Yay for me!

Abigail Grace

Here is a picture of Miss Abigail! There are more coming...

Click to see larger image...

Monday, September 01, 2003

Unconscious Mutterings

  1. Kiss:: Michael
  2. Nothing:: Empty
  3. Reach:: Stretch
  4. Late:: Night
  5. Stump:: Tree
  6. Dreams:: Sleep
  7. LOL:: Laugh
  8. Ornament:: Tree
  9. Neck:: Pain
  10. Guitar::Music