Easter Engagement

Tuesday, April 15, 2003
I'm going engagement ring shopping tomorrow!!! Sit down...no, it isn't for me! One of my co-workers is getting ready to pop the question so tomorrow we're going to look and see what we can find. He has been a couple of times already, but hasn't found just what he is looking for. Apparently the girl has described in detail the type of ring she wants and that is exactly what he is looking for. This is a delicate matter; however, b/c they aren't exactly together at the moment. He screwed up - BIG TIME - and is now trying to make things right. He didn't really realize how much he loved this girl and wanted to be with her until he lost her and now he is trying to prove his commitment to her. He is so nervous - I mean any guy getting ready to propose would be nervous, but since they aren't on a high note right now he is even more afraid of what she'll say to him. He and I went out to lunch a couple times last week to talk about it and again yesterday. He has been physically sick b/c he is afraid he might have really lost her for good. You know, I have never really seen this side of it. I have been the girl that was cheated on and seen girlfriends get cheated on, but I have never seen it from the guy's side.

Okay, I guess this calls for some background. Around the time my friend met "the bride-to-be" (I'll call her) another girl (temptation) who he had previously had an interest in started pursuing him. I can see his side to a point. He had liked "temptation" for a long time and she didn't want anything to do with him. So, when she calls out of the blue he is curious to see where it might go and he had just begun to date "BTB" - they weren't serious at this point. She even said they were "just friends"...so that means he should be able to date and it not be cheating. This is where the complication lies...there were no clear lines drawn. "Temptation" knew about "BTB", but not vice versa. I expressed to my friend that he was going to end up hurting someone and losing both of these girls b/c "BTB" didn't know the whole truth. What made it worse was the fact that he began to have feelings for both girls!!!! Ugh, what a tangled web we weave! I told him that unless he wanted to move to Utah he had better make a decision - FAST!!! There is no worse feeling in the world than finding out the person you love and trust has cheated...that's a heart break that is hard to get over. (It's only happened to me once, but that is more than enough - turned out to be the right thing though, b/c he is with the person meant for him and I have found the person that I am meant to be with.)

Well, it finally started to unravel on him and he lost them both. "Temptation" turned out to be a rather vindictive girl, though, and told "BTB" a lot of lies, which is only going to make it harder for my friend to win her back. (I knew in the beginning that I didn't like "Temptation" and I told my friend that - she was engaged when she first started pursuing him. He resisted her a lot at first, but he had liked her for so long he said he had to be sure.) "BTB" has every right to take this ring and throw it in his face, but I surely hope she doesn't. They really love one another...they say that even today, but her pride might keep her from giving into him. It is hard to take someone back after something like this, but I know (and they know) how happy they could be together. I don't know what else to tell him, though. His friends and family (including me) have all said to go for it and ask her - it's a big risk to take, but he says she is worth the risk. I really want to see him happy. He truly is a good guy despite the way this story reads.

I think this weekend is going to be the big event. An Easter engagement would be nice...if she accepts that is!!!! Keep your fingers crossed!