Time for a change...

Friday, December 20, 2002
What? I don't know. I just know that it is time to make some major changes in my life. These past few weeks so much has gone on that I feel like I don't even know who I am anymore. Life is strange, y'know? Just when you think you have a handle on things, the rug gets pulled out from under you. In my case, more than once. I was so proud of myself for getting back up after being knocked down a couple of times, but I don't know if I have the strength to face it too many more times. I don't know what is going to happen, but I know if something doesn't happen soon then I won't be able to handle it the next time.

What am I talking about? Who knows? There has been so much going on at work that I haven't really had time to write much lately. But there has been even more going on in my personal life that I haven't felt comfortable writing about. Am I going to disclose all tonight? Hell no...well, maybe! You never know. But I want to say thank you for those of you who have been there to be by my side in the last few weeks. I want to thank you for being such wonderful people. You don't know how you have affected my life. I don't know if I even know how much you have affected my life! I also want to thank my family - my parents really - for being such great people. You don't know the kind of influence you have had on me. Why all this tonight? I don't know, but I feel like it is time to put a few things out there.

I am not at the place in my life I imagined I would be at the age of 25. I have accomplished a lot more than many of the people I graduated with, but many times I feel as if they are far beyond me in life. I don't know why. I have a great job...very self-sufficient...educated...ambitious...I have traveled the world...seen places many people only read about...so what is it? If I knew that I don't think I would be venting this way!!!!! :)

This next month is going to be very, VERY, busy at work. Which is good, b/c that is what I need right now. To be too busy to think about things, but when they slow down, then what?

I think I have gone on enough...enough for tonight anyway.